How to get it done.
It’s quite a thing for a lot of people.
It’s even a bigger challenge if you have kids. Because:
a. you don’t have any time left for yourself and
b. you’re tired a lot
(or c. they go to school or daycare, it’s fall and either they or you -or everyone at the same time- are hit by a virus which messes with the whole plan).
Especially mums seem to feel overwhelmed.
How the hell will I get this all done?
I know the feeling.
Trying to set up shop from home around school hours. It’s just not enough time.
I need to have quality time with the girls. Or, even better have one on one quality time with one of them.
The house needs to be cleaned and things need to be fixed or maintained or tidied up.
And what’s the thing with to do lists anyway? They never get finished, there’s always something added to the list.
I need to check Facebook, Twitter, e-mail. I need to be on top of everything and not miss a thing.
And then there’s me, I need to take of myself right? Eat well, exercise, meditate, meet people.
Trying to do all this around kids is like walking on a rope. One push and you fall off.
A child gets sick, you can kiss your planning good bye. Or lord and behold, you get sick; the whole system collapses.
You need to have endless energy to get it all done. And that’s a very fine balance in my case.
Having had two children and two overseas moves (actually four, if you include the moving back to Amsterdam in between), constant restlessness about wanting to pack and move again, I was in denial but I can feel it has been quite a ride.
Add in eagerness to do a lot, try new things and perfectionism and you quickly hit the bottom.
And you end up feeling like this:
So I’d love to help you with tips on how to get it all done as a mum. And I will.
However, let me ask you this:
Do you really need to get it all done?
Try saying no to certain things. What’s your main goal? Does it contribute to that goal? If not, don’t do it.
Try lowering your standards. The house doesn’t have to be that clean.
You don’t have to do it all yourself. Ask for help, ask a neighbor to help you out. A friend. Your partner.
Does it make you a nicer person trying to get it all done? What’s it like for you feeling overwhelmed and stressed? How’s your sleep? Do you say no to your kids all the time if they want to play a game with you?
Let it go. It’s ok to let it go. Just leave the house, leave the mess, go outside and kick ball with your kids. Even if it’s just 15 minutes. It will make them happy and it will leave you feeling refreshed.
Your kids will remember the fun you had together.
They won’t remember you by the cleanliness of the house.
You need to step back every now and then and refill the well.
For now, just to shake things up a little bit, I want you to do this exercise:
Write a Not To Do list
List things you no longer want to do. For instance: I don’t want to meet person so-and-so who makes me feel drained after meeting her. Or, I don’t want to say no to my kids all the time anymore.
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